I continuously tell myself, “Alright, Paige… Bed in a half hour. Do it you traitorous swine.”. A half hour passes by, I’m still bumbling about. I’m not occupying my time with anything of particular significance, either. Simply existing in a chair, which resides in a suburban home, on a relatively boring street.
Re-reading that last sentence in my head makes me feel like Dr. Seuss. In other words, time to officially retire. I’m already experiencing long intervals of insanity. Considering the many potential health hazards one could succumb to by eating green eggs and ham will send me over the edge.
Signed, your friendly neighborhood cocaine user
PS: For those of you that lack a sense of humor, I’ve never used cocaine.