Oh, Lord.  (Appropriate, yes?)  Religion; such a delicate topic.  You have to be careful with the viewpoints you express, and to what people, otherwise you risk scrapping with someone; and more often than not, it will end badly.  But, this is America, and this is my Tumblr.  I do not want an argument to ensue.  So, if you happen to stumble upon this post and you violently disagree with what I have to say… Kindly eat shit. May my confessions be crucified.

  With so many religions in a world that gets smaller and smaller by virtue of ever faster travel and communication, the impact of various faiths is felt worldwide, whether we like it or not.  The outrage and ridicule that results over some of the most, to me, mundane things;  the film, The Passion of the Christ, humor with reference to God or Jesus, or simply one’s beliefs — clear evidence of how religious sentiment can manifest itself on a global scale.  Before I was somewhat educated on the matter, I often wondered what made people react so vehemently in matters of religion. I’ve found that the answer is quite simple; people need to educate themselves, and know the background of the world’s religions.  To research different religions doesn’t imply infidelity to one’s own faith, but rather it may be broadened by seeing how other individuals have sought for reality and have been enriched by their endeavor.  Knowledge leads to understanding, and understanding to tolerance of people with a different perspective.  

  This is currently where I stand.  I am in search of ‘my religion’.  Virtually from birth religious or ethical ideas are implanted in our minds by our parents, or in my case, other close relatives.  As a consequence, we usually follow the religious ideals of our own kin.  Faith has almost become a matter of family tradition.  Thus, resulting in our devotion being predestined.  An individual’s adherence to a certain faith is often determined by the geographical mishap of the locality of his/her birth-place.  Is the religion of one’s birth automatically the true one, approved by God? Allah? Jesus?  If that had been the concept followed over the millenniums, many among mankind would still be practicing primitive shamanism and ancient fertility cults, on the premise that ‘what was good enough for my ancestors is good enough for me.’  It is at least educational and mind-broadening to understand what others believe and how their beliefs originated.  I am hoping that it opens up vistas of a more concrete hope for my future, as I do feel that I have some sort of spiritual need.  I hope to be enriched and enlightened by my search.  

  I was raised to believe that Jehovah’s Witnesses knew what they were talking about, regarding the ‘true faith’.  While I respect some of the religion’s principles; fidelity or faithfulness; conscientiousness; pious affection or attachment… I still am longing to discover what else awaits me.  I am currently reading on Buddhism and Secular Humanism.  Both of which are very intriguing, and as mentioned before, at the very least a learning experience.  The more I meditate on it’s principles, the more Secular Humanism appeals to me.  Theologically speaking, Secular Humanists are atheists.  [Scary word for someone who once believed in God.]  Instead of God creating the cosmos, the cosmos, in the individualized form of humans giving a harness to their artistry and dreams, in fact created God/Gods.  Philosophically speaking, Secular Humanists are naturalists — Nature being all that exists. Nothing more. No spiritual dimension, no reincarnation… nada.  If the supernatural is absent, then human life, ALL life, is the result of a purely natural and beautiful phenomenon.  If God does not exist, then He simply cannot create a definite moral code.  Thus, man must tailor his ethical principles in all circumstances according to his own ingenuity; at his own convenience, if you will.  Exercise common sense at his own command, and pace.  From the beginning people have, and will continue to make up their own rules and regulations.  And without question, they will persevere in that regard.  Morality is not found or uncovered; it is built and molded.  Nothing is certain, though.  I am still undecided, and this is all subject to change, I suppose.  

  I am going to stop here.  Do not carelessly shove your synthetic opinions down my throat.  Until you’ve read book after book about various faiths, doctrines, etc… your ‘opinions’ will be rendered completely meaningless to me.  On the other hand, if you share the same beliefs as I, feel free to chat me up.  I’d love to hear your ideas.

  These are both sensitive subjects.  I won’t get too much into either, because… Well, my reasoning is sound. 

  Alcohol is gross.  I, personally, don’t think it’s all that it’s cracked up to be.  It tastes awful, especially the hard stuff.  Sure, maybe a bit of rum, or coconut flavored alcohol in a tropical drink, isn’t so bad.  However, even that I only like doing once in a blue moon.  The whole red cup culture, getting drunk scene, just doesn’t appeal to me in the least.  Plus, I have family members that were/are alcoholics, and I watched it ruin their careers, family life, and physical health.  It turns some of the most respectable men and women into pigs, as well.  My mom, for example… One of the most intelligent people I know.  She’s very sharp, and the most generous person I’ve ever known.  Constantly slaving for other people.  Though, she is an alcoholic.  When she drinks, she gets real mean, and that ruins it for me.  While I still love her with all my heart, I wish she wouldn’t do that to herself (and for those who care to know, she’s gotten a lot better, and she doesn’t drink as much as she used to).  From my perspective, it’s just not worth the trouble that you’re going to get into, in the long run.

  **One more point I’d like to bring out is that people need to know that alcoholism is an actual sickness.  It is a disease.  Alcoholics are people, just like you and I.  They need to be treated like humans, but firmly and lovingly put in their place… If you want to see progress.  My apologies; mini-rant. Just talking from experience.

  Drugs.  Oh boy.  There’s such a broad spectrum of drugs.  There are drugs used strictly for medicinal purposes, and then there are drugs that are very seriously frowned upon, and abused like no other.  For me, the bottom line is, no.  I do not condone the improper use of drugs.  Unless it’s prescribed, of course.  Have I done any drugs?  Weed, yes, but nothing else I assure you.  I’m not exactly proud of it, but I’m not entirely ashamed of myself either.  I talked to my psychologist about it and he said weed needs to be treated like a delicacy.  Like caviar.  I thought that was an interesting way of putting it.  The sound of caviar is just utterly disgusting to me, but I guess when you eat it, you don’t devour it.  You only have a small portion of it.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t smoke weed religiously.  By no means, am I a stoner or a pot head.  But, I have before.  I’m probably going to get shit for saying this, but I’ll be ready for it.  As far as other drugs go, like heroine, crack, people taking prescription drugs without a prescription; that’s awful.  I used to know of someone who would take my Grandma’s oxycotin and sell it for money.  $100 a pill.  When she’s in excruciating pain.  That’s low. 

  That’s it, I guess. 

  Ten years, holy crap.  Seems so far from now.  Though in ten years, I hope to see myself still in school, winding down in my final years in college, eager to pursue my career. 

  I would very much like to become an astro-physicist.  However, I spoke to one of my professors who happens to have received her PhD in Astro-physics, and she says it’s a very difficult field to get into.  Which shouldn’t sway me, I know I can do it.  But logically speaking, NASA is definitely underpaid… Everyone is aware of that.  She told me things may change by the time I’m graduated from college, but as of now, pursuing a career in astronomy would be unpredictable.  The available jobs fluctuate, and I need to wrap my head around something more promising.  As passionate as I am about astronomy, there is no guarantee it would provide me with a sustainable future.  Thus, I’ve been contemplating the idea of becoming a pharmacist.  Not a pharmacy-tech, no.  A pharmacist.  The ones who make top dollar.  Anything in the medical field, you’re almost guaranteed work.  It’s unfortunate, but people are always sick and hurting.  So, it seems like a wise choice to make.  But this is only my first year of college, I don’t have to make any snap decisions just yet.

  So, if I’m not hiding in a bunker in the mountains, watching the rest of the planet undergo complete devestation before my eyes; the product of nuclear warfare… I’ll be in school.  Still. 

  That’s all for now.  I’ve exhausted every bit of my energy.  I am sleepy, I am grubby, I am sore… I am beat.  Going to take a shower and go spend the evening with Luke, I believe. 

  Ta-ta, my friends

schrotum:

I’m a loner. I don’t have a gigantic group of friends. People don’t miss me. I’m never the first person anyone looks for in a crowded room. I’m just me, so take it or leave it.

  Oh, dear.  Where to begin?  Well, as a matter of fact, I am not single.  I’d consider myself to be happily taken.  Incandescently happy.  To whom do I owe this honor?  Lucas.  Formally known as Luke Lemons, but he is my Lucas. 

  I will say this.  I’ve known of Luke for roughly four years.  However, over the course of about seven months have we REALLY gotten to be heavily acquainted with each other.  And I’ve been dating him for a little over a month.  So, figuratively speaking, our relationship is still “young” in the eyes of… well, our peers, I guess.  But to me (and him, supposedly), it feels like we’ve been dating for longer than just a month.  I’ve really let myself unravel with him; without hesitancy, putting all of my faith into him.  It’s unfortunate that what I’m about to say will sound so typical of any teenage relationship, but I swear he knows me better than most anyone.  Not just because we’ve spent load of time together, but because he’s a profound thinker.  One of the most brilliant, well-informed people I’ve ever had the privilege to come across.  And I stumbled upon him quite unwittingly; completely unforeseen. 

  Considering he’s still very young, and being as perceptive as he is… To me, that is truly remarkable.  Hearing him express his thoughts blows me away.  Whatever it is, he absorbs everything with scrutiny; knowledgeable in various ways.  His advanced thought pattern is something I envy very seriously.  I step back sometimes and think to myself, “God, Paige, you’re truthfully dumber than a bag of potatoes compared to him.”  And that may very well be, but then I reassure myself that he wouldn’t be here if he thought I was that much of a dunce.  I don’t know what, but clearly he sees something in me that’s worth his time.  Hell, I wish I could know what it is that he sees in me. 

 

  So, if someone were to ask me what I thought about him, it’d be a loaded question.  In a good way, of course.  I could go on forever, but if I had to narrow it down it’d be…

   - He has become my closest, and most loyal friend.  Which are very hard to come by in this God forsaken town, I assure you

   - He possesses one of the most beautiful minds I’ve ever known.  He’s logical, and that, in turn, balances out my being emotional.  I think they compliment each other nicely, but that’s me. 

   - Very important, he can make me laugh.  Most days, we really have a good time with each other. 

   - He’s as cute as a button. :3  And that’s always a plus.

   - From my observation, he has a well-rounded sense of balance.  He has his priorities in proper perspective; a good sense of order. 

  Something I failed to mention and want to highlight, is that he’s been screwed to a pulp.  Luke has felt a pain that everyone dreads; infidelity.  His relationship prior to this one, his girlfriend basically had been cheating on him for quite some time.  She had the nerve to say one of the reasons she’d stay with Luke was strictly sexual… Complete and utter filth.  Trash.  Scum.  Poisonous bitch.  Now, I certainly hope he’s over her, and I believe he is… But, when we first started spending time together, I watched him suffer.  I’ve experienced a similar feeling and can relate.  It’s like having someone rip your heart out of your chest, and stab it continuously in front of your very eyes.  A devastating feeling.  Betrayal.  I could go on, but I’ll leave it at that. 

  Back to the point, now that I’ve seen what a phenomenal person he is and what he’s dealt with in time’s past, he deserves nothing but the best.  Truly.  When you relentlessly care about someone, as I do, you don’t want to do anything but save them.  If I could take every ounce of anger, sadness, and agony from him and make it my burden to bear, rather than his — I would.  In a heartbeat.

  There you have it.  That’s my brief depiction of Luke, and why our relationship thrives.  Well, I didn’t exactly touch on why it thrives, but you get the gist of it.  I hope.  I was “okay” gliding along independently, but unexpectedly collided with something beautiful.  In retrospect, it was all by sheer happenstance, the way things worked out.  I don’t know.  All I do know is that I really do love him.  He’s made me a firm believer that finding someone who can make you truly happy on this chaotic planet, isn’t just a terrifying nightmare that keeps waking me. 

  In conclusion, while our relationship is definitely not perfect; we’ve yet to accomplish many goals as a couple, and the relationship has it’s difficulties… From my perspective, it’s something worth while.  I’m not going to say we’re going to last forever, but I sincerely hope we last a long time.  Luke, if you’re reading this somewhere, somehow… Know that I’m in this for the long haul, and you mean more to me than any word could ever convey.  There’s just no telling how much I love you, and I hope we go far together, as I’m sure we will.  No one can touch, laugh, or play like we do.  You’ve breathed happiness into my life again, and you are really the only one who can take credit for that.  I have an unclouded love for you, Luke, and will continue to care for you industriously, without a fraction of a doubt.  So, thank you… For everything. 

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is. 
Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years. 
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol. 
Day 04 - Your views on religion. 
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life. 
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself. 
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality. 
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life. 
Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like. 
Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss. 
Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up. 
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day. 
Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit. 
Day 14 - Your earliest memory. 
Day 15 - Your favorite tumblrs. 
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music. 
Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year. 
Day 18 - Your beliefs. 
Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents. 
Day 20 - How important you think education is. 
Day 21 - One of your favorite shows. 
Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years? 
Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive. 
Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about. 
Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why. 
Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you. 
Day 27 - A problem that you have had. 
Day 28 - Something that you miss. 
Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days. 
Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month.